Reflections on Wintering

I know I've said this before, but I've never been a winter person. It's always been something to get through while we wait for spring. I don't like the cold, I don't like the dark, I don't like the days filled with gray. I'm not a winter sports person. Germ season still hits us hard and it's brutal (3 hospital visits this season).  January was long ago declared my nemesis month, even before kids. Mike has always said February feels endless (and today is leap day!). And now we still have March to tackle, in a state where we have far more late season snow storms than glimpses of early spring. 

A positive interaction with social media and the Evil Algorithm (that mostly leads to doom scrolling), introduced me to a couple of content creators with a series on "how to make friends with winter" and the concept of wintering. Color me intrigued. We've been following the more obvious advice for a few years now, like getting outside every day during daylight hours for a walk. And I already try to embrace hygge and do winter cozy. But there were additional ideas like building in extra rest during the winter without guilt, because we are meant to get extra rest just like the world outside and have family time together. Why we are drawn to fire. How to stay warmer on walks (the secret is wearing at least 2 pairs of pants!). 

I made a list of all the things I liked about winter. The occasional flowering plant or bulb from Trader Joe's for the table feels like such a luxury. Houseplants and plants in the greenhouse really shine when everything is gray. Having later sunrises means I'm awake to see them. Now that the kids are older, I feel safer lighting real candles again in various candle holders. I love being under a cozy blanket. Eucalyptus hanging in the shower. Fires in fire pit with magic fire in the backyard. Keeping the colorful holiday lights on the back deck railing ALL WINTER LONG. Paper stars on the back door. Drinking more hot tea in oversized mugs. Winter evenings are the ideal time to do yarn projects (I like to crochet). The hush when snow is falling. Bright sunshine on a walk. Finding new, bigger hills to sled on when there is a snow storm. 

I think it's made this winter season a lot more pleasant and easier to get through. I'm not quite friends with winter yet, but maybe someday we will be? As the signs of spring are starting to emerge and I'm counting down the weeks now to spring and seed starting, I know we are getting close. The sun is stronger and melting the ice, the feeling of hope and light are returning full force. 

Late September Musings

How in the heck is it late September? Life has been a whirlwind. I'm juggling, floundering, living, flourishing, surviving. It's crazy, beautiful chaos and I'm consistently overwhelmed on even the best days. Sometimes it feels like I'm leveling up and that I've totally got this. Sometimes it feels like it's all too much.

The silver lining (realization #53 of my forties: my toxic trait is that I am an aggressive seeker of silver linings) is a major shift in perspective this year. 

I have to choose exactly where I want to spend my time. I am setting boundaries with myself (as a serial people pleaser) - why am I spending time on this? Does this need to happen? Does it make our lives better? Does it make me happy or fulfilled? Does it make our family happy? Does this strengthen our family or community? Am I sharing this for myself and memories, or is it to stroke my own ego? Can I put this off? Let this go? Am I really letting someone down or is it no longer measuring myself by the expectations of others? How do I want to spend these little bits of precious time?

These questions have led us to... a messier house (but not so messy that it stresses me out). A dirty car. A mulch pile that is still sitting in the driveway. Laundry that doesn't always get put away. A neglected section of my yard that desperately needs weeding. Neglected craft kits bought with good intentions. A garage that still needs to be cleaned out. A basement that needs to be organized. But also... plenty of flowers in the garden and backyard. More friends over. More family visits. More play dates and trips to the pool and swims in the backyard and family bike rides and hikes and day trips and core memories. 

I am trying to carve out bits for myself, otherwise I would have gone batty months ago. All summer I made sure to take the time to enjoy the backyard pool more and not just clean it. I actually tried to swim or relax on my favorite float with headphones. We swam in the ocean, hiked to waterfalls, saw the rings of Saturn and the super moon from our telescope, watched the Perseides meteor shower from the mountains, floated down the Delaware River. Flowers and gardening are my big happy and I pick bouquets that fill our house until frost. I drink lavender cold brew, draw on my iPad or sketchbook, ride my bike, walk the dog, read plenty of books and try to meditate a few times a week. My goal is to spark joy, celebrate milestones and little things. Big adventures and small ones. Find the silver linings. 

And time is in short supply. Having two very active boys in multiple year-round sports is... a lot. It's good for them for a million reasons, it's fun, and we support whatever they want to do. I'm fully immersed in this season of life because I want to be here for it, I want to enjoy it. I know now that this is as fleeting as the early years which felt so endless at the time and are now distant specks in the rearview. The games and meets, the practices, the driving, the volunteer hours at their schools, the fun outings, family time and friend time and everything - it all takes up pieces of a finite amount of time. 

In April, May, June we had a completely insane schedule of double taekwondo and double baseball chaos, plus birthday season and general end-of-year craziness. June and July were packed with trying to juggle camps, swim team, swim lessons and taekwondo. In August camps wrapped up, we were grieving the loss of Mike's dad, we went away to the mountains in New York state, we prepped Oliver for middle school. September has been a lot of back-to-school chaos, both boys in soccer and taekwondo and Oliver is doing the middle school cross country team. It's A LOT. However, for Oliver this is his year of new sports... swim, cross country, wrestling, fencing, track and field... because we fell into the trap of "do what we've always done" in athletics (after a couple of failed attempts at new sports). We realized it's time to try some new things and explore new opportunities before he's locked out due to lack of experience. So this year is Oliver's journey to discover what else is out there, what sports he also enjoys. So far he loves swimming and he loves running... next year is going to be full of tough choices! 

As for my choices and this space, I know I've been posting less while flying too fast through my life. There have been so many distractions, and it's easy to overlook what I'm doing here, but the truth is I still like it. Writing and taking photos takes up precious time, but I'm looking at this blog like a journal. In the long run it's fulfilling to have posts to look back on. Re-reading some of my old content has brought me lot of joy. So I'm going to try to make a bit more effort in this space again (hopefully), I want to choose to come here more often. 

April Chaos

Things are BUSY. The house littered with cleats, baseballs, giant gym bags filled with sparring gear. There are nights when the kids are eat dinner in the car between practices. This past week we had 14 games/practices/sessions in 6 days between the boys. The spring is full with school events, volunteer work. Music lessons and rehearsals, after school clubs. It's a lot. Too much. 

It's raining heavily today, games cancelled, I've gained back 5 hours and it feels amazing. The kids are enjoying some unscheduled relaxation time before heading off to birthday parties. Right now I should be writing up the volunteer schedule for Science Day and making another signup genius. Or work on something artistic before I use up all my creative energy. Maybe bake a banana bread or organize the garage sale items in the basement because the town yard sale is coming all too soon. 

But  I feel like I've earned at least a few minutes here to write a quick update (Hi!) and reflect on the insanity of April. I dropped an entire carload of toddler stuff at my sister's house this morning from our attic and every square foot regained feels like an accomplishment. A weeks worth of teacher appreciation gifts were acquired during errands. My to-do lists are a mile long - I don't think that's going to end anytime soon and I am enjoying this unexpected break.

Inside the house in April, we did things! But now I need to photograph them which requires cleaning and good light and TIME. We updated Matt's room. New art that isn't for a baby nursery and reflects his interests. I drew most of it myself over the winter. We repaired a ceiling crack, painted his ceiling navy blue (just like Oliver's room) and restyled his bookshelves. Oliver's room also has new custom art. I repainted the downstairs half bath navy blue because it really needed a fresh coat of paint (and the dark blue looks SO GOOD in there). I've been meaning to do it for a year. We also repainted the upstairs bathroom ceiling after making a minor repair. The kitchen ceiling is untouched but next on our list. 

Outside... I prepped the garden for planting, but haven't done any planting yet (first weekend in May!). I have trays and trays of seedlings ready to finish hardening off this week. There are so many dahlias sprouted in the greenhouse. I bought a bunch of beautiful, earth-friendly native plants from a plant sale I ran for the boy's school recently and planted them in landscaping gaps in the yard (hopefully they do better than some of the other things I've planted). 

I'm still mulching the backyard, but I'm more than half done with the big pile. I really wanted to be done with it before May, but between the schedule and the weather it's a miracle I've gotten as far as I have to be honest. One big thing in my favor though is that the garden beds have needed very little weeding - the result of all my consistent mulching efforts the past few years. If it wasn't pouring right now I'd probably be outside mulching (OR at baseball!).

We have not touched the inside of the garage yet, but will have to get into high gear soon because it has the pool equipment, the flower pots and summer toys tucked inside. I have big plans to deliver the best of the outgrown toys to my sister and sell the rest at the yard sale. The patio furniture at least is set up and we are hoping to have the pool go up in the next 1-2 weeks depending on the weather. Lots to do and very little time to do it! 

This phase of life is crazy... but it's also beautiful and amazing and we are embracing it. Even though we are exhausted and overwhelmed sometimes, they are so lucky to have so many opportunities that it's hard to fit them all in. We are cramming as many fun things into the spaces between as we can. Sometimes it's big stuff (like day trips), sometimes it's little stuff (like homemade pizza on a family movie night) and sometimes it's in between (like friends over). I think my biggest issue right now is that I'm not taking enough pictures, I'm not documenting enough of the fun... but I'm absorbing it and it's keeping us going in the middle of the chaos. 

Back to School - Fall Priorities

It's officially back to school.

The town pool has closed, Labor Day celebrated, the bus picked up the kids this morning. While technically it's not Autumn for another 2 weeks (and I'm hoping to keep our pool up until the equinox thanks to the solar cover!), my priorities are shifting. The garden is winding down, the leaves are getting their first blush of color, there are pumpkins at the grocery store (and I wanted to buy one!). 

I miss the kids already. The free feeling that summer brings. The possibilities. The long days and sunshine. Catching fire flies. Letting everyone stay up late. 

We had a great summer. We camped. We boated. We traveled. We hiked in forests. We swam in lakes, pools and oceans. Oliver learned to do flips off the high dive. Matt went off the low dive, water slide and high dive for the first time. We went to the beach. We went to the city. We went to outdoor movies, looked at the stars, got caught in thunderstorms, admired rainbows, shopped at farmer's markets. We collected rocks and shells, bouquets of flowers. We harvested fruit, read books, rode bikes, dined alfresco. 

And now... I have the whole school day to myself again. I can get things done much easier - work, exercise, errands, chores. Our evenings are once again devoted to driving to one sport or another, and for better or worse the schedule is just as crazy as the spring... but there is a comfortable rhythm to be found in the routine, knowing what each day will bring before it comes. This week we are easing back into it. We know all the parts well, but they don't fit quite right yet. 

I have more time. I have less time. I have to prioritize, because no matter how I look at it it's always limited. What do I want to do? What do we need to do? 

This fall I have a specific to-do list: 

- Seal the driveway (Top Priority, but this requires the right weather and a day off)

- Photograph the dining room, living room and upstairs hallway with the new paint colors

- Photograph Oliver's bedroom with the new desk

- Update Matt's bedroom with some new art and photos in the gallery wall

- Photograph Matt's updated bedroom 

- Reorganize my closet (it's time to face the abundance of dusty work clothes from the office days) 

Seasonal stuff to get done:

- Take down the pool and set up the fire pit area for fall

- Mike will reseed the lawn 

- Start yard cleanup as the plants begin to die (already started, this goes until late November)

- Get plants into the greenhouse in October 

- Decorate for Halloween 

Nice to get done if we can:

- Paint our bedroom that perfect shade of aqua (hazy blue)

- Mike to fix kitchen wiring

- Mike to build blueberry boxes for next season (spring is too busy for such endeavors) 

- Start organizing the basement, attempt #168 to get it organized

Late Summer

There was a chill in the air the other morning and for a few hours it felt like fall. The light is changing, the days are getting noticeably shorter. The crickets hum in a background chorus outside. Summer is starting to wane, a happy moment for fall lovers everywhere and a sad sigh for the summer lovers like me. I could spend the rest of my life in sunshine and warmth by the pool or ocean and be a very happy camper. I don't love the massive heat waves, but those dry days with blue skies, a breeze, in the low 80's are the best. I'm going to enjoy all that I can while it lasts. 

We went on our annual family trip to Cape Cod... and came down with COVID. Womp. Womp. We had two wonderful days before waking up feverish, all four of us went down within hours of each other. We isolated and spent a lot of time enjoying the rental house and views of the sea, and went to the beach later in the day when it was empty and spent a lot of time resting. There are worse places to recuperate (though I would have much preferred to enjoy the vacation, and not have spread it to extended family). 

We brought home a few pretty rocks from the rock beach for the garden... this might be my entire dining room table. Luckily we went before we were struck down by the plague. 

At home I'm trying to balance getting a few things done with all the summer maintenance and summer fun. We finally finished painting the stairwell that connects the living room to the upstairs hall. Both of those rooms are the new soft silver gray, but the stairwell was still a warm toned edgecomb gray. It's a really tough area to paint because the walls go all the way up to the attic and we have high ceilings to begin with. These particular walls require the big ladder and no fear of death. Mike survived but apparently took risks I don't want to hear about because they give me chills (I have a terrible fear of heights and lousy balance). 

I decided my first back-to-school project will be photographing all the indoor house updates when I have the space to myself again. I have wanted to do it all summer but I've finally accepted that short camp days are not conducive to working full time, child rearing, knocking off daily chores and getting the house to a uncluttered state where I can take a picture without cringing. Plus... there's plenty to do outside. 

I chopped the oriental bittersweet vine that was growing up the porch post. I loved the look of it, but it was out of control. It pulled down the gutter spout, grew into the porch roof gutters and was making it's way to the main roof of the house. Nope, nope, NOPE. Perhaps I never should have let it grow, because its root system is actually too big to easily remove at this point (it's too close to the shrubs and goes under the porch, yikes). But I can attempt to control its growth going forward, keep it from taking over the porch again. I let it do what it wanted before, because it was green and pretty and I love vertical growth, but this time I will manage height and branches aggressively. Hopefully it can be pretty and not destroy the house. If that's too much work, then I guess we'll try to pull it up. Hopefully it's not as aggressive as wisteria?

We're in a drought here. It has barely rained in over a month and it's been weeks without even a thunderstorm. The grass is a crisp brown and crunches when we walk. The trees are going into that early-fall distress and changing colors. Unwatered perennials and shrubs are shriveling, some even dying (not mine!). I almost lost a few ferns and astilbe, not realizing that even the often-wet way back of the yard in the shade was completely dried out. The first couple times I watered, it didn't even penetrate because everything was so hard-packed. Until it rains enough, the sprinklers are now on rotation, hitting different sections of the yard each day so I don't lose anything. Rain is perpetually on the horizon, drying up and pushing out further and further on the calendar. Fingers crossed we have a rainy day sometime soon... maybe next week?

Late summer life is busy. Work, the house, the yard. No more camp. Trying to get in those trips to the pool. Setting up that last string of play dates with their friends before school starts. Sports practices are starting up soon. Attempting to get one more beach trip in. Ordering school supplies. Knowing there are just a few more short breaths of freedom and chaos. Soon we'll trade the pandemonium and heat for crisp breezes and full orderly schedules of school and sports in a steady march. 

It's glorious and fleeting, this beauty of late summer. 

How is it August Already?

I didn't mean to only do gardening posts for three whole months. I have so many things to share but I'm lacking in photos. I need to take some photos, but I've been so busy doing and running from one thing to the next, photos fall to the bottom of the priority list. Life has been extra-extra busy. In the spring it was my day job + managing a surge of colds during allergy season (a double whammy that was hard on my asthmatic kids), a double baseball season because Matt started farm league instead of t-ball, Oliver earned his black belt, our family had our crazy but wonderful birthday season (one birthday after another!), and we were trying to cram an entire school year of activities into the final two months of school (which is an extra challenge sitting on the PTA board). We went away to the Catskills in June for a long weekend to celebrate my birthday and our anniversary. This summer has been a wonderful but exhausting nonstop rotation of camp pickups and drop offs, play dates and birthday parties and pool trips and cleaning our own pool and watering the garden and swim lessons and more play dates... it's been crazy and wonderful and exhausting. 

I completed my first big furniture reupholstery project! My sister had her first baby and one of her baby gifts was my mother's rocking chair, reupholstered with love in sage green velvet. I've never reupholstered anything before, it was a bit intimidating! With the help of YouTube tutorials and a very helpful lady at the fabric shop, I learned all about jute webbing, stretching, foam, etc. The original chair frame was in really good shape, it just needed cleaning and polishing. The 1980's gold velvet though was sagging and withered. I chose sage velvet to coordinate with my sister's chosen nursery color, and the sage and gold trim is a homage to the original chair choice. Mike had to help me with the stretching and stapling - it was a two person job - but I'm really happy with how it turned out. 

My nephew has since arrived and it was magical to be a part of the baby's first few days (officially I was "helping out" when really I was hogging as much baby time as possible). I was exhausted afterwards though - we are definitely done with the baby years at our house. 

On the home front, I'm working on so many projects! The dining room was repainted woodland white and the color is perfect. The living room is a soft silver. The trim is sparkling white and I REALLY need to photograph it before chocolatey fingerprints start building up again. Oliver has a new desk in his room, Matt has a new (to him) desk in his. I need to take photos of all these things - taking indoor photos is challenging in the best circumstances, and these days my time has been lacking. 

I found a desk for Oliver's room! It's the perfect size but it needed a fresh finish. I wasn't a bit fan of the yellow oak stain either so I sanded it and refinished it to a nice dark espresso. 

Both boys also need new art in their room, which is supposed to be my summer project... but then again WHY do I think I have time for summer projects in the summer? The summer always seems to be our busiest time! I also want to paint the stairwell to coordinate with the living room color. The kitchen walls and ceiling need some love. 

But it's progress! I'm making so much progress. Outside the garden and yard is now in maintenance mode (which is still a lot of work). Flower pots, flower beds (front and back) planted with dahlias and annuals. Every day I have to block off time to water the gardens, pick the gardens and clean the pool. Not a hardship by any means but they take time. 

The battle with the chipmunks has been time consuming as well. We escalated to rubber snakes (which worked for 2 days until they figured out they were fake) and traps (which they learned to avoid). Then finally, weather was cooler last week, so we finally had a chance to replace the deterrent netting with wire mesh. We knew they couldn't chew through that. And the bigger chipmunks can't get in. So what did they do? THEY SENT IN THE TINY ONES. I almost lost it. So then we had to add in hardware cloth along the bottom too. It's just out of control. 

This year I planted extra flowers in the front garden beds of the house. Last year it looked SO nice with all the dalinovas, I realized I should plant flowers all the way across the shrubs with more variety. This year it's a mix of snapdragons, dalinovas and lantanas, with a couple of taller dahlias in the open space next to the new shrub that needs to grow. It's a rainbow of color and I'm really happy about it. 

I cleaned up the greenhouse finally. It was such a mess from the winter and spring. Now it's a clean slate for working in here and eventually bringing things back in during the fall. 

I'm also trying to make time for little hobbies. First and foremost, my little flower farm has filled our house with bouquets regularly. Every time they fade, it's time for another harvest.

I even pressed a bunch of flowers again this year. I have a thing for pressed flowers. Overall I think the ones I pressed back in 2020 were better, but from this year's batch, the calendula and geraniums came out even better than I hoped. The cosmos came out as expected, but the rest of the flowers turned out more brown than I wanted. Several of them were experiments, and I've learned that yarrow and astilbe are much prettier and more colorful dried than pressed. A few things I pressed that worked before just turned moldy. Maybe it's that I used a different pressing method this time? 

I'm on a syrup kick this year. Every year I seem to get into something new in the summer kitchen. It started with lavender syrup (with dried lavender from the garden) to make lavender lattes and lavender cold brews. Next was blueberry syrup with the last meyer lemon from our tree which is weirdly good for lattes/cold brew and of course amazing for cocktails, waffles, seltzer... basically anything you want to add blueberry citrus to. Both taste like you're drinking summer. I'm so limited in my food consumption these days, these really brighten up my routine.