This has been a scary couple of months here in Northern NJ. We live in a New York City commuter town with a major hospital. Our neighbors and friends are doctors and nurses there. We have family and friends in the city (the hardest hit city in the world). We know multiple families that have tested positive for COVID-19, we know people who had to go on a ventilator, and sadly we know people who didn't recover. It's scary, stressful and heartbreaking. As of today our state alone accounts for over 96k confirmed cases and 5k deaths. It's overwhelming. And it's not over.
I know this is hard for everyone, and we are lucky. I know our situation could be so much worse. We are safe and healthy so far and will hopefully stay that way. Our families are safe and healthy. I'm not sharing all this to complain - just sharing our experience. The quarantine isolation is really hard.
At week 5, I can accept some simple truths. I am unable to keep the house clean with the boys home all day every day. I am unable to keep Matt entertained in a healthy, constructive, no-screentime way all day while helping Oliver homeschool and keeping up with my job (and Mike is at work as an essential employee with his tech stuff, it's me running the show). I will never fully catch up on laundry or dishes with so many outfit changes and the kids never reusing cups. Murphy's law is in full effect (anything that can go wrong, will go wrong). And my kids think that more than 3 minutes of alone time is MORE generous.
Sanity Savers: I'm planting anything I can in the garden (which isn't much in April, but it's something). I'm drying big bouquets of garden thyme (because it went nuts and tripled in size) and pressing pansies and trying to teach Oliver how to make friendship bracelets. My manicure is on point - and a shade or iridescent aqua/teal aptly called "mermaid scales." I dyed my hair platinum blonde in the bathroom (I was going progressively blonder since August, so it wasn't a huge jump at that point, but it's VERY BLONDE now and I still have to do a double take when I walk by a mirror). I picked a bouquet of daffodils.
The phlox is blooming too under the trees and in front of the tulips. I'm loving the little spots of color in the yard. I swear these days flowers are keeping me sane.
The trees are at their peak in the backyard.
We built trellises, cleaned up garden beds, trimmed the forsythia bush way back to a manageable size. We also opened up the patio - uncovered the furniture, pulled the cushions out from winter storage, swept out the leaves. I got all the pots out of the garage and are ready for flowers soon. The seedlings I've been growing indoors are ready to go outside (though it was sleeting this morning, so I guess it will be another week or two...). I feel like I'm constantly busy but never getting enough done.
This past weekend Mike finished the third trench and all we have left now are the dry wells (which are tricky because it's raining so much). #3 is like 75% done, then he'll do the first one and lastly the middle. Once that's done we can setup the back corner the way I want it - a double composter, the wood pile, a stepping stone pathway, a small curved retaining wall in front and then building up the garden to be a real garden and not a patch of irises and weeds. (Diagram plan coming soon, decisions still need to be made).
I'm perpetually exhausted. Everyone is right? The days are all mixed up, the weeks are long and we are full of crazy. We are perpetually trapped in a weird version of Ground Hog Day where we aren't supposed to leave home. Dog walks are our only escape (but not to any parks or trails because those had to be closed in NJ since people were not social distancing). There's always yet another school assignment that didn't get finished or work stuff that still needs to get done or a meal to be made or dishes and laundry to do. A trip to the grocery store or pharmacy, even wearing gloves and a mask, is riddled with anxiety and finding grocery delivery is as impossible as finding toilet paper.
It's a weird slow build of frustration around here. Little things chipping away at me to the point where I have to stop, take a break, and remember that I am not personally being victimized by the pandemic. The kids are begging to go back to school. There are tears of frustration and anxiety over missing their friends. They are lonely. Zoom is not the same as real life interaction. Morgan killed a giant rat in our yard. Our ice maker broke. Easter just didn't feel like Easter and the kids were very concerned the bunny was going to spread COVID-19. Not seeing our families was HARD. There's a lot of extra stress with work right now. Homeschooling is an uphill battle every day. The kids never remember to close the back door and now there are like 50 flies in the house. The threat of closing all pools and beaches here for the summer has me wanting to throw a tantrum of my own.
Life is strange right now, but it's not all bad. For as much as the boys fight, the family togetherness has brought them so much closer together. The dryer was squeaking but magically fixed itself. Oliver's baseball energy has gone into learning to skateboard skills have really improved and he loves it. Matt is teaching himself how to tell time on analog clocks. I don't miss the morning rush to get the kids to school everyday and I like the flexibility we have during the day. I like that we can have a picnic lunch outside. I like that I can take a conference call from the hammock chair on the deck.
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