I've been sitting with this quote in my head for days. Weeks? Time has become irregular and mostly irrelevant during the quarantine, but this persists. My heart hurts. So I persist. What can I do today?
I have always stayed away from politics, religion and controversial topics in this space. It's a personal diary for me on our house and garden journey. It's fluffy. Even writing about family stuff is a leap for me. But this time, I can't stay silent. Silence is not okay. It's not enough to not be racist, we need to be anti-racist.
BLACK LIVES MATTER.
The delusion that we've stamped out the worst of racism left us vulnerable to it. We think we are better than that, especially in the North East. But an anti-racist, vigilant country would not have our problems with police brutality. This country would not have elected Donald Trump, a white supremacist, as president. And I am not proud of the fact that Trump is from New York, that he frequents our local airports to go to his club on the weekends. I want to tell you that he doesn't belong here, his views don't belong here, that most of us here would never subscribe to these views. But I'm waking up to the cold hard facts that racism and systemic racism run rampant everywhere and I have been blind to it, seeking comfort in the illusion our town provides.
There are so many things I love about where we live. Our large town is actually about the size of a small city. It's a melting pot with so many amazing minority-owned and LGBTQ-owned small businesses downtown. My kids have amazing and diverse role models, teachers and coaches, our classrooms and school district are diverse. It fits well with the kind of multiculturalism we were looking for when we moved out of city. I've existed in this bubble, living in the illusion that we were beyond the worst of our country's dark past. We teach our kids not to see skin color, we support our local small businesses, we treat our friends and neighbors with equal kindness, hospitality and community. We sit on PTA boards and volunteer in our classrooms, make sure that every child in our schools get the same benefits; we celebrate multiculturalism and diversity.
But it's not enough. I know that now. I'm waking up just like the rest of the country. This is now the largest civil rights movement in the history of the world. And yet we are told to judge all protests by the most violent offenders but ignore the most violent police actions as "controlling chaos", even though it doesn't FEEL right. I know most police officers are good people, and I'm sure most of them are probably as sickened by the police violence as I am. But the system is broken if its protecting the enforcers instead of the civilians.
In big picture terms, writer and reporter Linette Lopez said it very succinctly:
"Anti-racism is about being conscious of our American bias toward white supremacy. Understanding how it is expressed in our institutions, dismantling them, and then building institutions that actively fight racism — in housing, policing, education, what have you. If you take racism out of institutions, society will follow."
It starts at home with hard conversations and reinforcing those ideas as my kids grow. That silence is as bad as acceptance, and ignoring racism makes them complacent in it. I know I need to keep educating myself so I can educate them. And I have hope that their generation will be so much better than mine.
"Life's most persistent and urgent question is: 'What are you doing for others?'"
What are you doing for others?
Write. Call. Donate. Demand Justice. Say their names. Educate yourself. Stand up.
Someday, my kids will be educated about this historic year. And when they ask, "what did you do?" I want to be able to answer them, because nothing is not an acceptable answer.
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